I wish I could tell you. How much I love you, Maa!
When I was two, I cried for the whole night. And you were there. Singing lullabies for me, Maa. You never shouted on me when I didn’t let you sleep.
When I was nine, I fell sick. I was not able to sleep because my stomach hurt. And i woke up at 2 in the night, sobbing. I came to you, woke you up and I ruined your sleep, Maa. You said worriedly that I will be okay. That time you didn’t tell me that you hate me.
When I turned seventeen, I went to parties, night events and night outs. I wandered the city with my friends at late night. But when I came back to home in the morning, your puffy eyes told me about how much sleep did you get last night. You too didn’t sleep. You were worried about me. Still you let me go knowing that I am enjoying my age. That time you didn’t fight with me.
The truth is I never let you sleep calmly. I was the reason why you stressed too much. I always annoyed you. But you still loved me.
Then why?? Why do I shout at you, get angry at you? Sometimes I tell you that I hate you, Maa. But I don’t. I can’t. I am sorry I’ve never been your good girl. I am too selfish. I never think about you. I never valued your care, your food, your advice, your trust, you! But I want to say sorry for who I am and thank you for who you are. Can I? Please. I promise I will be your good girl. Forever. You gave me many chances to say that I hate you. But now, just give me one chance to say that i don’t. I really don’t. I love you.
I can never be a great woman like you. But I’ll try. I just wish you to be happy. But you only smile when I smile. So, I promise I will smile. Always. And then, you will have to smile, too. And I will be there for you. I will stay late for you. I will not sleep for the whole night. I will wake up early for you. I will cook for you. I will take care of you. My first priority will be you. You raised me like your princess. So, I’ll keep you like my queen.
And I will tell you that I love you. I will mean it. From now on, your little girl will be your mom. As you are getting aged, you’ll need me. You will need to be taken care of. And this time, I will be your Mother.
I never was a good daughter. But I promise I’ll be the best Maa.
I will, Maa!